Thursday, November 18, 2004
char's confused
how am i supposed to feel when he's commitment phobic? Since the moment he told me that he was scared abt getting into another relationship,i've been feeling a little turned off, even to the extent of asking myself: are we in a commitment-less relationship?
NO! I love him and stuff.. and we ARE committed to the other.. as in we don't go around flirting with other guys or gals.. and well.. i'm like..supposed to get rid of his phobia.. a tough task to accomplish
i really have no idea what's coming over me but i feel increasingly detached from him.. PMS or exams stress.. we'll see after BOTH our exams are over... in the meantime, char's going to mug, and J's gonna mug too!
back to academics...i felt relieved that i could manage the elect geog paper.. it was usually like my worst subject, but i feel rather confident abt it this time.. what can i say? Char is paranoid... nah. she's the BOMB! haha expected the Os to get really tough and stuff.. i guess not... haha =) hope that i could do well and get into a JC. as to which JC, i really couldn't care less anymore.. TJ's outta ma league.. and if i couldn't get into a JC, i hope i could get into some biz course or smth in poly...
grrrr just wish that i could be a lawyer...some how. i feel that it just totally fits the way i want life to be. Harvard's tuition is ok lar.. 30 smth K USD per yr? hmm according to J, it'll be like.. about 100 odd K when you cover the living expenses etc.. but i don't wanna go to harvard anymore!
i have friends (ie: Kel,shan,yuna, ivee...) and J.. it's not that he's bogging me down, i just don't see myself being THAT far apart from him/my family/my friends.. not with the fact that we have an age gap.. or that we're sooo like.. addicted to one another.. i don't wanna have my addiction/cravings satisfied by anyone else.. anywhere else
[i'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like it's just a dream, and pretend he's not hurting me... for now.. till it's past the exam period]
NO! I love him and stuff.. and we ARE committed to the other.. as in we don't go around flirting with other guys or gals.. and well.. i'm like..supposed to get rid of his phobia.. a tough task to accomplish
i really have no idea what's coming over me but i feel increasingly detached from him.. PMS or exams stress.. we'll see after BOTH our exams are over... in the meantime, char's going to mug, and J's gonna mug too!
back to academics...i felt relieved that i could manage the elect geog paper.. it was usually like my worst subject, but i feel rather confident abt it this time.. what can i say? Char is paranoid... nah. she's the BOMB! haha expected the Os to get really tough and stuff.. i guess not... haha =) hope that i could do well and get into a JC. as to which JC, i really couldn't care less anymore.. TJ's outta ma league.. and if i couldn't get into a JC, i hope i could get into some biz course or smth in poly...
grrrr just wish that i could be a lawyer...some how. i feel that it just totally fits the way i want life to be. Harvard's tuition is ok lar.. 30 smth K USD per yr? hmm according to J, it'll be like.. about 100 odd K when you cover the living expenses etc.. but i don't wanna go to harvard anymore!
i have friends (ie: Kel,shan,yuna, ivee...) and J.. it's not that he's bogging me down, i just don't see myself being THAT far apart from him/my family/my friends.. not with the fact that we have an age gap.. or that we're sooo like.. addicted to one another.. i don't wanna have my addiction/cravings satisfied by anyone else.. anywhere else
[i'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like it's just a dream, and pretend he's not hurting me... for now.. till it's past the exam period]
