Friday, September 09, 2005
goodbyetoyou
I said goodbye to something I cherished so dearly today. I can’t let it go, and I’m hoping that blogging can release a little of my unhappiness.
Well well. You don’t need me. You’ve got her and the guys. You don’t need me. Not that I wanted to make you choose, but you seriously don’t need me. Maybe Ilyas WAS right. Maybe I AM jealous of you and her. But I think the whole thing behind this was me wanting the old you back.
Starbucks session
Bitching.
Lunching.
Yakking over the phone every night,
Not anymore, I suppose. I don’t blame you entirely for re-allocating your buds. And I thank you for being nice enough to acknowledge me as a bestie. You know I love you still. And you are still THE bestie, even if new ones come. That’s cos you’ve HAD always been there for me.
But here’s the part I hate about you.
YOU FUCKING DITCHED ME.
To think that you say that it’s cos you keep thinking of her.
You think it’s easy for me to go through that heartbreak that I did…
Without you?
You think that it’s easy being me?
You are so wrong.
Happiness eludes me.
The part that I can’t put behind me is that we promised to have each others’ backs.
I had yours when you were feeling fucked up. With having to decide about whether or not to go for your “trophy”.
What about you?
Saying that you’re sorry and that you feel fucking guilty REALLY doesn’t cut it anymore. At all.
“No, you’re my bestie. I’ll always make time for you. Starbucks sessions.”
What a lie. Y’know what? Have your pride, for god’s sake. I can’t deal with this. Not anymore.
Why should I treasure this if you don’t show that you do? You woke up at 2. I thought lunch could salvage things. I THOUGHT. RE-think that.
Well well. You don’t need me. You’ve got her and the guys. You don’t need me. Not that I wanted to make you choose, but you seriously don’t need me. Maybe Ilyas WAS right. Maybe I AM jealous of you and her. But I think the whole thing behind this was me wanting the old you back.
Starbucks session
Bitching.
Lunching.
Yakking over the phone every night,
Not anymore, I suppose. I don’t blame you entirely for re-allocating your buds. And I thank you for being nice enough to acknowledge me as a bestie. You know I love you still. And you are still THE bestie, even if new ones come. That’s cos you’ve HAD always been there for me.
But here’s the part I hate about you.
YOU FUCKING DITCHED ME.
To think that you say that it’s cos you keep thinking of her.
You think it’s easy for me to go through that heartbreak that I did…
Without you?
You think that it’s easy being me?
You are so wrong.
Happiness eludes me.
The part that I can’t put behind me is that we promised to have each others’ backs.
I had yours when you were feeling fucked up. With having to decide about whether or not to go for your “trophy”.
What about you?
Saying that you’re sorry and that you feel fucking guilty REALLY doesn’t cut it anymore. At all.
“No, you’re my bestie. I’ll always make time for you. Starbucks sessions.”
What a lie. Y’know what? Have your pride, for god’s sake. I can’t deal with this. Not anymore.
Why should I treasure this if you don’t show that you do? You woke up at 2. I thought lunch could salvage things. I THOUGHT. RE-think that.
